At any moment, you have a choice about who you are being. You are not limited in any way to the person you would like to become. You can change your entire life through the choices you make and the actions you boldly take to bring those choices to life.  As you align yourself to your authentic desires, goals, and dreams – a successful life starts to unfold.  Here are some ways to accelerate that unfolding:

• Bet on You: When you’re trying to make a significant change in your life, limit your consumption of listening to too many others, trying to copy other people’s ideas, or asking too many people for advice about your next steps. We do this when we’re feeling fearful or we’re not clear on what we want and asking everyone else or doing what someone else is doing seems simpler on the surface but, it often further complicates our situations and tends to push us into procrastination and feeling confused about our next steps.  It also tends to lead to poor decisions, which can have a negative ripple effect in our lives.  Remember, you are the CEO of your life, so know yourself and your strengths and start making decisions that align with your personal values.
• Get Clear on Your Big-Picture Vision: I shared various tips and strategies for mapping out a vision for yourself in my last blog. We all have 24 hours in our day. Research shows that we have anywhere between 20,000-70,000 thoughts per day and if you’re not careful, you will simply fall into a pattern of what’s known as busy brain.  As many as 98 percent of our thoughts today are the same as we had the day before! Talk about being on auto-pilot! That’s why having a vision to work from is so important to moving your life forward in the way you want. Gear each day to your bigger picture vision and tell yourself the truth about what you want your life to look like and go after it!
• Monitor Your Self-Talk: As much as 95% of those thousands of thoughts we’re having each day can be negative in nature, but we can retrain our brains.  Take time to observe yourself daily and hear the words you speak. Are phrases like I would do…if I had the time or someday when I have more time (or money or skills) I want to… sneaking into your conversations too often?  Begin using more words of commitment. For example, this is important to me, so I will… or I can take this next step now… or I may have thought that previously, but now I believe this to be true.
• Capture Your Goals: Once your vision is defined, list out the top three goals that you feel will move your vision forward.  For example, let’s say your Big Picture Vision is to write and publish a book.  Your top three goals could be as follows:
  1. Create a writing space in my home
  2. Hire a writing coach
  3. Set up a writing schedule that I am committed to adhering to

• Define Your Next Actions for each Goal: You Next Actions ARE the very next step you must take to move the goal forward. So, let’s break the first goal down into Next Actions.
  • Create a writing space in my home
  • Clear out room or corner this weekend
  • Order a desk online or purchase in store this weekend

The more time, energy, and commitment you put into your vision, goals, and next actions, the more you will see the positive results you desire.  Now that’s succeeding at your life!

“What if I fall? Oh my dear, but what if you fly?” – Unknown

Did you know our brains are neurologically wired to over-focus on the bad, and constantly scan for those things that can threaten or harm us?  This is known as the “Negativity Bias.”  This bias causes us to gloss right over the positive things happening in our lives or even miss it altogether.  Unless…

If you’ve read some on my other blogs (here and here) you may have noticed that my focus is on the ways in which I can use coaching and assessment tools to help shine a light on your dormant strengths and potential and help you to unleash a more empowered and positive self-concept and set of beliefs that align with the future state you desire.

How do I accomplish this?  Together, we look for the good, and then go deeper and look for more good. And, we keep going.  Why?  Because.  What we focus on grows.

Let’s peel back this onion of positivity a bit and try a reflection activity.  Get some paper and a pen or markers.  Turn the paper the long way, like this:

Step 1: Give it a title, such as “My Life Highlights.”

Step 2: List 6 or so turning point events in your life (i.e. births, deaths, health concerns, major life transitions, etc.) and note your age, like this:

Step 3: Draw a timeline in the bottom half of the page and place a “0” to the far left, like this:

Step 4: The zero at the beginning of your timeline represents your birth.  I’d like you now to think about how long you would like to live and place that number at the other end of the timeline.  Please be adventurous and free about this.  If it anything were possible, how long would you like to live?  I went with “125” because I have a lot I still want to accomplish! 😊

Step 5: Place your current age on the timeline and then place the ages of your significant life events up until now on the timeline as well.  You can draw little tick marks or dots and note the age.

Step 6: Place a bracket or circle around this first period of your life that includes all these significant events up until now and…give it title!  That’s right.  How would you sum up your life to date?  My title was “Hardship and Joy, Learning to Let Go, and Lessons of Self-Worth.”  Go with what feels right for you.

Step 7: Place another bracket or circle around all the open space that comes after this point in time.  Take a moment to let that soak in.  There’s likely a lot of life you have left to live.  Such potential.  What will you do with it?  Now, go ahead and give this future phase of your life a title as well.   I chose “Deep Spirituality That is My Life’s Work, Ease, and I Have All I Need & Want.”  Not exactly movie-ready titles, but that’s ok!

Your Next Action Step:  Based on the title you chose, what are three key actions you would like take going forward?  Then choose your top one out of the three.

Remember, what we focus on grows.  This activity is one way to get clear about your vision for the future and go after it.  Now that you have your key action, the next step would be to start breaking that big action down into manageable bites and setting some target dates.  I’ll share some best practices for that next month.  Until then…find at least one good and positive thing that is happening in your life today and savor it!

I’ve been interested in self-development and self-improvement for a long time and I’ve tested out a lot of different approaches to see what works and have come across my fair share of what doesn’t work.  You too?!

What’s the best way to exercise, lose weight, have more energy, eat better, learn more, get things done quickly, have better relationships, achieve goals, grow my career, improve my memory, meditate, connect my mind, body and spirit…and seriously, on and on it goes!

And probably the biggest thing I’ve figured out is that I must keep discovering and rediscovering what works for me.  Because, you know, our lives are like a test lab.

I do exhaust myself at times with this relentless desire to DO MORE, BE MORE, and SEE MORE!

And you know what? I’ve hit plenty of walls along the way.

I recently came across an interesting book called “Your Body and The Stars” written by Dr. Stephanie Marango and I was immediately drawn to it.  I remember learning about the zodiac signs when I was young and being so enamored by the fact the signs accurately described me and my friends.  What magic was this?  How was this possible?  I’ve learned much more about astrology and our birth charts and patterns in our lives since that time and expect I’ll continue to learn much more.  From my perspective, our birth charts and our personal astrology, are another tool for our self-development toolbox to know ourselves more deeply, inside and out.

My Sun Sign is Sagittarius, so I immediately dug into this section of the book.

Chapter 10: Hips of the Centaur

Birth Date: November 22 – December 21

Body Region: Hips and Thighs

Theme: Direct Your Lower Nature with Higher Aspiration

When I saw the theme, I knew I was about to discover something new and interesting.  You see, I really do love to DO MORE, BE MORE, and SEE MORE…AND I really love to roam around, have fun, be totally non-committal and keep my options open and pretty much explore everything that enters my path!  Yes, again, kind of exhausting either way!

It’s as if I know which way I want to go and part of me moves in that direction, but another part of me is unconsciously moving in another direction and I end somewhere unexpected.  You too?! And for the record, that is NOT always a good thing!

The author writes, “Like the Centaur, you have both higher and lower natures that reside together…The direction the Centaur walks has to align and unify his nature…otherwise his hips and thighs will prevent forward movement and make the journey a struggle.  The upper body is looking one way and the lower body is moving another way.”

Wait, what?! 

Of the many, many books I’ve read and approaches I’ve implemented, I’ve never heard my struggles described in quite this way and IT…WAS…SPOT…ON!

The chapter goes on to take a deep dive of the body region and takes you deep into the astrology and story of your sign as well as the lessons to learn in this lifetime.  Then there’s the list of physical manifestations (I’ve pretty much had all these issues at some point and some current issues right now).

The personal guide is yet more gold for self-development.

• Reflective questions – How would you describe your current direction in life? What activities evoke your higher nature? What aspects of your lower nature need to be brought into balance?
• Stretches, movements and exercises to incorporate into your day and realign
• A meditation or prescriptive action that is a key element of the sign
• And finally, a Practice Discipline to help us really hone in and unlock our potential

Your Body and The Stars explores each sign and body part as follows:

• Head of the Ram (Aries)
• Neck of the Bull (Taurus)
• Hands of the Twins (Gemini)
• Chest of the Crab (Cancer)
• Heart of the Lion (Leo)
• Belly of the Virgin (Virgo)
• Back of the Scales (Libra)
• Sacrum of the Scorpio (Scorpio)
• Hips of the Centaur (Sagittarius)
• Knees of the Seagoat (Capricorn)
• Ankles of the Water Bearer (Aquarius)
• Feet of the Fish (Pisces)

I’ve been doing the meditation, exercises, and practice discipline on a daily basis and they are definitely helping me to align and get clear on where I really want to place my focus at this time.

I haven’t even pursued my Rising Sign and Moon Sign yet and of course, if there is an area of your body that is a regular challenge, you can explore that section immediately.  Though, I suspect there is some key connection in your birth chart!

This book takes the Mind, Body, Spirit connection to a whole new level for me.

Image from: Your Body and the Stars: The Zodiac as Your Wellness Guide

My mantra for a long time was…go as fast as possible at ALL times! 

So, let me start by saying “go slow to go fast” has been a learned behavior on my part.

Our capacity to grow and change is enormous and… it’s within our control.  In learning how to slow down and reflect and savor the good feelings (and also learn how to be with the not so great feelings) I have found that I can ultimately move faster towards to my goals and dreams for one reason.  I have a clear vision of what I want.

But, when I don’t take the time to get clear on my vision, well, there can be a lot of floundering around.  Though, it’s not necessarily easy to recognize that you’re floundering around, because you may be running around, doing this and that, and generally feeling productive and busy and happy with yourself.

There’s a couple of things you can do to check yourself and determine if you are, in fact, on track.  Ask yourself the following questions:

1. “Where am now on a scale of 1-10 with my vision?” Where 10 means that I have completely reached my vision and 1 means the opposite.
2. “If I were to move up just one step on this scale, what would be different for me?”
3. “What is the one specific action or step I can take this week to help me get to the next step?”

Here’s the key thing to remember, if you’re on the lower end of the scale, then there is only ONE thing to do, go slow to go fast and get back to your vision.  When our vision is murky, our actions follow and they too can be murky and undefined.

This is the perfect time of the year to go slow to go fast.   Forget the platitudes and resolutions and forget the list of all the things that are wrong with your life.

Focus on your vision.  What’s next for you?  In your life, your work, where you live, how you live, your relationships.  What does that look like and feel like?  What are you doing?  Who are with? You can journal, doodle, create a vision board, or just think about it.   Don’t overcomplicate it.  But, once you have your vision, write it down.   You want to see your vision and read it on a daily basis.  You’d be amazed at how well this works in bringing your vision to life.  Use the questions above on a weekly basis to check your progress and keep adjusting and redefining your actions as needed.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to be your authentic self.  You are the expert of your life. 

Our life experiences and choices become the laboratory for our own investigation of what is and isn’t working in our lives.  If you don’t take the time to investigate, you may wake up one day and find you are living someone else’s vision.  Maybe that’s happening to you now.  It has definitely happened to me.  And then I decided it was time to bet on me and be the expert of my life.

When we align to our vision, we feel good about our lives and we are in a better position to help others. Each of us has the ability to ignite positive change in our lives through our work, through our buying decisions, through our friendships and partnerships, and through our communities; which all translates into making a positive impact in the world.

Even simple conversations go off the rails.

Here’s me calling my mother.

Me: Hi mom, how are you doing today?

Mom: OK.  How are you? Did I tell that two of your sister’s friends were diagnosed with cancer, so and so’s house burnt down, and that I need a $1000 for some car repairs?

Me: (silently to self) BREATHE!!!

So what’s a person who’s just trying to live their best life, in the present moment, with a calm, centered focus to do?

I noticed something a while ago.  When I ask different questions, in particular questions with a positive, strength-based orientation that help me to see the best in myself and others, I don’t just get different answers.  Life ignites!  New doors, new paths, and new possibilities open up before my eyes.

When I coach others to focus on their strengths and capabilities, the environment becomes one that is conducive to experimentation and exploration and “what if” lines of thinking.  This is how dreams and goals ignite and come to life.

Problem talk leads to problem thinking and generally includes variations on the Big Three: blame, fear, and guilt.  The Big Three perpetuate the negative energy that is lurking around the corner, or in our minds, just waiting for us to engage.

Let me be clear about one thing.  My approach is not an invitation to put on your rose-colored glasses and just call it a good day.  Everything isn’t good and perfect at all times.  And…everything isn’t all bad and negative and doom and gloom all the time either.

To ignite positive change in your life, you’ll need to actively counter the negative energy that may be coming your way, whether intentional or unintentional, and whether it’s from those around you or your own self-talk.

Here are four steps to ignite positive change in your life!

1. What’s Good – today, in my life, about me, about my partner, about this moment right here and right now?

When you exclusively focus on “doom and gloom” and “here’s what’s wrong” you will easily see weakness, lack, problems, and negativity.  When you change the question to “what’s good” you easily see and hear and feel possibilities, strengths, optimism and miracles.

2. What’s Wanted – now, soon, this year, the next five years, in my life?

You may have heard a few times in your life that first clarifying what you want is a good idea.   But here’s the thing, it’s way more than a good idea – it’s the path to your ideal future, it’s what generates energy and excitement and motivation, it’s how you know what’s important and what to align to.  And there’s another thing it is – it can be difficult to define by ourselves.

3. What’s Appreciated – in myself, in those I love, in my work, in the various aspects of my life?

The questions we ask create our realities.  Think that sounds a bit much?  What were you thinking about this morning and what was happening around you?  What are thinking about right now reading this?  Yes, we live in one world AND we live in worlds of our making.  Our questions direct our attention and cause us to focus on one thing over another.

4. What’s Inspiring – and lights me up, makes me feel strong and empowered, where I know without a doubt that I am or can become a confident and knowledgeable expert?

When we focus on developing and cultivating our own creativity rather than competing with others, there is a chemical reaction occurring within us and around us.  When you’ve reached this step, you are experiencing what I like to call the “Dark Chocolate Effect.”  What’s the Dark Chocolate Effect?  It’s the feeling of authentic sweetness in your life.  There is nothing artificial or fake or contrived in this life.

Try this tonight with your friends, partner, family or a stranger while you’re at it.  Ask “What’s good in your life today?” and see where the conversation takes you.

Come join me in the lab!